becker

A year has passed and now I stand on the brink of a returning to a world I’ve left a couple of months ago.

Soon, I will reluctantly give my hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to the people I hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to, before I ever left. I will leave my best friends to return to my best friends.

… I will go back to the places I came from and go back to the same things I did last summer and every summer before.

I will come into a city to the same familiar road, and although it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday.

As I walk into my old bedroom, every emotion will pass through me as I reflect on the way my life has changed and the person I have become.

I suddenly realize that things that were the most important to me a year ago, don’t seem to matter so much anymore, and the things I hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand.

Who will I call first?
What will I do my first weekend at home with my friends?
What has everyone been up to in the past few months?
How long will be before I actually start missing people from my other life?

Then I start to realize how much things have changed, and I realize the hardest part of this is to balance the two completely different worlds I now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything while trying to figure out what I have left behind.

I now know the meaning of true friendship.
I know who I have kept in touch with over the past year and who I hold dearest to my heart.

I’ve left my world to deal with the real world.

There have been times when I’ve felt so helpless being hours away from “home” when I know my family or friends needed me the most.

Soon, I will leave and I will take down my pictures and pack up my clothes.

Soon, I will say good bye to one of the most beautiful cities and to the places that were once just words on a map.
No more going to the other side of the city to do nothing for hours on end.

Soon, I will unpack my bags and have dinner with my family. And somehow, in some way find my place between these two worlds.